news | first page
| contact the museum | art
of menstruation | artists (non-menstrual)
| belts | bidets | Bly, Nellie | MUM board
| books (and reviews)
| cats | company booklets
directory | costumes | cups
| cup usage | dispensers
| douches, pain, sprays | essay
directory | extraction | famous
people | FAQ | humor
| huts | links | media | miscellaneous |
museum future | Norwegian
menstruation exhibit | odor | pad
directory | patent medicine | poetry
directory | products, current | religion | menstrual products safety
| science | shame | sponges | synchrony | tampon directory | early tampons
| teen ads directory | tour
(video) | underpants
directory | videos, films directory | washable pads | LIST
OF ALL TOPICS
More on cats:
The seven cats of this museum:
Those occupying museum chairs and couches
- Complete list of MUM cats, with
hierarchy - Prof. Mack C. Padd, MaxiMUM, The Distinguished Service
Institutional Wallace C. Meyer Memorial Pouncer at the Museum of Menstruation,
Senior Cat and Chief Tomcat - "A
Kitten's Prayer" - Alley Cat
Allies
(an organization urging the public to catch, inoculate, neuter and release
feral cats; read why) - Manual of construction
of cats - Toilet training cats
Basic Rules for Cats Who Have a House to Run
Submitted by Spooky (above it all and getting a handle
on things, below);
it's a very beautiful photograph
1. CHAIRS AND RUGS:
If you have to throw up, get into a chair quickly. If you
cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If no Oriental rug is available,
shag is good.
2. DOORS:
Do not allow closed doors in any room. To get a door opened,
stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is
not necessary to use it.
After you have ordered an outside door opened, stand halfway
in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important
during very cold weather, rain, snow, and mosquito season.
3. GUESTS:
Quickly determine which guest hates cats the most. Sit
on that human's lap. If you can, arrange to have "Friskies Fish n'
Glop" on your breath.
For sitting on laps or rubbing against clothing, select
fabric color that contrasts well with your fur. For example: white furred
cats go to black wool clothing.
For the guest who claims, "I love kitties," be
ready with aloof disdain; apply claws to stockings or use a quick nip on
the ankle.
When walking among the dishes on the dinner table, be prepared
to look surprised and hurt when scolded. The idea is to convey, "But
you always allow me on the table when company isn't here."
Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It isn't necessary
to do anything. Just sit and stare.
4. WORK:
If one of your humans is sewing or writing and another
is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called helping, otherwise known
as hampering. Following are the rules for hampering:
A. When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel
of the cook. You can't be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being
stepped on, picked up and consoled.
B. For book readers, get in close under the chin, between
the human's eyes and the book, unless you can lie across the book itself.
If it is a newspaper, claw at it until shredded. Your human will appreciate
a homemade toy!
C. For knitting projects, curl up quietly onto the lap
of the knitter and pretend to doze. Occasionally reach out and slap the
knitting needles or split yarn. The knitter may try to distract you with
a scrap ball of yarn. Remember, the aim is to hamper work.
5. PLAY:
It is important. Get enough sleep in the day time so you
are fresh for playing catch mouse or king-o-the-hill on their bed between
2 a.m. and 4 a.m.
MOST IMPORTANT: Begin people training early. You will then
have a smooth-running household. Humans need to know basic rules. They can
be taught if you start early and are consistent.
More on cats:
The seven cats of this museum:
Those occupying museum chairs and couches
- Complete list of MUM cats, with
hierarchy - Prof. Mack C. Padd, MaxiMUM, The Distinguished Service
Institutional Wallace C. Meyer Memorial Pouncer at the Museum of Menstruation,
Senior Cat and Chief Tomcat - "A
Kitten's Prayer" - Alley Cat
Allies
(an organization urging the public to catch, inoculate, neuter and release
feral cats; read why) - Manual of construction
of cats - Toilet training cats